:: The Ruminant ::

The Ruminant's first visitor, amayamaya, left a nice comment requesting more posts. Just as retailers often display their first dollar, I am going to display this first comment for a while. Rest assured, amayamaya, when I get my thirty minutes of fame, you will have your fifteen. I hope I'm not too selfish to keep some of the fame for myself.

:: Friday, August 29, 2003 ::

Unexpected

For those one or two readers who might recall my past encounter with Space Mormons: I quite randomly stumbled upon this site this morning: www.spacemormons.net. I wonder what those bastards are up to...


:: Chris 7:09 AM [+] ::
...

I arrived at my office today and checked my mail box, where I found more forms to fill out for awards that I won't get (they appear give preference to students who already received an NSERC award, which is off limits to foreign students; the guy who sits next to me in my office comes in about once a month, does almost no research, and has about three of these awards; he makes nearly a professor's salary; I'm sure his grades are much better than mine, though, because he doesn't mind wasting his time doing unpublishable crap for uninformative classes).

Beneath my mailbox, on the shelf, I noticed a big package with my name on it. It was all my stuff that I left in Japan! The hotel packed it up and mailed it to me! Now I have my CD drive again, so I can fix/upgrade my system! I have my sync cable for my Clie! I have my computer lock chain so I can go to the bathroom without feeling nervous! And I have the charge cords for my electric razors! I am so pleased.

Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a shaved man.

And with that shall I end the dreaded week of puns.


:: Chris 8:44 AM [+] ::
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Pay Early, Pay Often

Following the ingeneous legal reasoning of SCO, I too have decided to cash in on freely distributed internet content. Things shouldn't just be distributed freely, all willy-nilly. If the author isn't going to make money, I should. It's only right. I am therefore contemplating legal action in the matter of Cory Doctorow's Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, a novel which is freely distributed as an E-book. This novel loosely resembles a story that I once thought about writing, and shares numerous words in common with things I have written. I believe I retain the copyright on those words. I am therefore demanding a $50 licensing fee from anyone who is reading, has read, or plans to read Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom electronically.

I may seek a court order against Doctorow to divulge download logs revealing the identities of his readers. They will be hearing from me shortly if I do not start receiving substantial payments. The $50 fee is only introductory. As of October 15, it becomes $500. So pay up.


:: Chris 7:01 AM [+] ::
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Cyborg!

I'm watching a movie called Cyborg 2087, and it totally rocks! A super-human cyborg has come back in time from 2087 to 1966 to stop a scientific discovery which results in the enslavement of mankind. He is pursued by evil cyborgs from the future who are trying to stop him from succeeding in his mission. They all wear fairly shiny suits. It is probably not necessary to state the similarities between this film and another classic: American Graffiti. Cyborg 2087 is full of youthful lingo, kids who "groove," wild teen dancing, hot rods and loads of footage of people making three-point turns in 60's cars. It is also action packed, featuring show-downs in ghost towns and powerplants, complete with electric sparks and invisible ray guns. And there are scientists, big computers, large glowing buttons, foil hats, and a chimp. This is the best movie ever.


:: Chris 9:58 PM [+] ::
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A Week of Puns

It has been a week of awful, terrible puns. I confess that I started it all. Here's the story:

Sheryl, one of the students in my lab, mentioned that there are some new multi-processor Itanium machines available to run processes on. "Cool!1" I said, getting all excited for big-time simulations. "But you need to use them now, because the admin said they'll only be around for another month or so."

"They're only going to be here for a month!?" I asked. "Where are they going? Do these machines move from school to school like some kind of Touring Machines?"

Bwaahahaha.

Its been nothing but puns ever since. I'm not even sure I want to go to work today.


:: Chris 5:37 AM [+] ::
...